Optimism

Realistic Optimism vs. Toxic Optimism: What's the Difference and When Does It Show Up?

We've all heard the saying "you can be happy if you choose to be happy." But what does that mean?

And when is it appropriate to use that mindset? It's important to be optimistic in life. After all, optimism has been linked with better physical health, greater career success, and increased resilience in the face of adversity. But what happens when optimism becomes toxic? Let's explore the difference between being realistically optimistic and toxically optimistic, and when each one shows up.

Realistic optimism is when you choose to be positive and believe that things will work out, even when there's no guarantee. This doesn't mean you're naive or deny the existence of problems. It simply means that you have faith things will work out in the end. You might not know how they'll work out, but you remain hopeful nonetheless. Realistic optimism is also approaching life with the intent of living your most authentic and genuine self. You understand that there will always be unresolved issues, but you choose to be happy anyway. This doesn't mean ignoring your problems, but rather working through them over time. The goal is to live a full and satisfying life in spite of whatever challenges come your way.

Toxic optimism is different. This is often characterized by an unwillingness to confront reality, choosing instead to ignore problems or pretend they don't exist. Toxically optimistic is pretending everything is okay when it's not. It's the idea that you can just "choose to be happy" without addressing the underlying issues that are causing you pain. This can come across as insincere or even manipulative. It's important to be honest with yourself and others about what you're going through, and not try to bottle up your emotions.

So which one is better? Realistically optimistic or toxically optimistic? You may be surprised to hear this but It really may depend on the situation. If you're struggling with some unresolved issues, it's important to be honest about how you're feeling. Trying to put on a brave face and pretend everything is fine can sometimes make things worse. That said, if you're generally happy with your life but are facing some challenges, it may be helpful to approach those challenges with realistic optimism.

No matter what approach you take, remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it!

From my couch to yours,

Coach Sam