The wee little kid inside

How old are you? 20? 30? Maybe 40 or 50?

Heck, you could be 60-100 and still be carrying intense experiences from your childhood. Yup, we are going there.  We are going to visit the little kid inside of us and reveal why this adorable bundle of sass keeps showing up when we're trying to live our grown A$$ lives.    

The reality is that we conceptualize our lives not only by our daily experience but through the way we react to each experience.  So, how do we decide (in each very moment) our response?  

You see, our reactions are driven subconsciously and are already engrained. Our mind may have forgotten the experience(s) that laid the groundwork to our stress response.  We barely remember what we had for breakfast let alone the details of (perhaps meaningful but also maybe not so meaningful) experiences that have predetermined our reactions for years to come.  Your brain may have forgotten the details, but your sympathetic nervous system has not and will not forget (ah, yes, i'm talking anxiety, anger, over excitement and so on).  

Have you experienced situations where you're set on in your way without rhyme or reason, or a situation where you've felt nervous and anxious, or even moments where you uncomfortably accommodate everyone around you, or perhaps felt the need to stomp away for attention? This is the little kid inside you....this kid is trying to protect you by acting in the only way he/she remembers...the only way that kept that him/her safe and successful enough to get you to where you are now.  

That kid did damn well.  He/she did brilliantly because look at you! Look where you are! You're an adult that has built a life for yourself (no matter what that life looks like).  

So the first step in taking care of your inner child is to thank him/her for being brave and for encouraging you.  For being willing to push you with all it's little might even when your adult self behaved like an inanimate car completely drained of fuel.  

Now the second step in taking care of that inner kid is to step in.  Would you let your actual child, niece, nephew, or the nice little toddler next door try to solve your problems?  If they offered, you would probably give them a warm smile, a nice hug and send them off to play with a toy (cause that's what kids should be doing).  

So when you have the urge to react, to have an adult tantrum, to shut down, or to be overtaken by paralyzing fear.... just pause a moment and ask your kid version how he/she is doing.  Check in on them.  Take care of them.  Once you do that, once you truly comfort your inner kid, you can then remember that there is a healthier way to solve our problems.  We can always be a little more respectful and a little more kind to reach our resolutions.

Happy New Year to you, your inner child and your beautiful family and friends!!

From my couch to yours,

Sam