Pressure

My last posts hit on the pressure we put on ourselves,

the desire to succeed and that sudden blackout we experience when we are part way through our feat. The point I was trying to makes was this: to enjoy the experience of our decisions, we need to take one step at a time carrying that new decision with us.

The point I was watching myself write out was that some days there is no movement, no walking with that decision, but rather just a settling idle. 

So here's the thing, I started this blog, made a decision to write continuously, and then... I stopped.  I couldn't do it anymore. I was initially so excited about my commitment but suddenly, I hit a blackout. The thought of writing something publicly was simply something I could no longer do. Not because I didn't want to but because I convinced myself that the topics needed to be perfect, they needed to hit home with you, my readers.

But let's take a moment and recall the year that we've all just had...starting with a flight that was shot down in Iran and 100's of civilian lives lost; a virus that we knew very little about that snowballed into a global pandemic that impacted every single one of our lives; the wakening of the world to the constant murder and mistreatment of black lives; the exhausted shock that we are still dealing such messed up racism and discrimination; fires that raged through the lands that are our only hope for our sustained futures; not to mention poverty and homelessness that have continued to be an issue with little hope of resolve. All this contributing to a political climate that sadly continues to divide us.  This doesn't even capture a fraction of the events that have impacted our personal lives.

So yes, I hit a wall.  I wondered, what the heck am I going to string together in my blog.  What am I going to write about right now? What knowledge do I have in navigating these unforeseen circumstances that I can offer someone else?  It's taken me a while but I realize that we still need each other.  We still need to move forward. We still need to eat and breathe and do everything we can to keep safe and healthy.  

The other thing is, when I first started, I read and listened to a lot of advice about keeping a successful blog but somehow the compilation of all the advice I read, the dos and don'ts, the need for perfect topics, not to anyones fault, just led to me realizing I'm not checking boxes, I'm missing certain guidelines, I'm bound to fail. If I stop then I can't start again.  But here's the thing, yes you can.  You can always start again. Why the heck should we not allow ourselves a natural settling idle.

What I needed to realize and what I want to share with you is the concept of the tailored approach.  Your life, is yours only. There is no finger print identical to yours. No set of advice will fit your life perfectly. You require a tailored approach. Whether you work with someone to identify the steps that work best for you, or if you set out to find your own, be mindful that whatever you read, listen to or take in, digest it into a new framework. The structure, the self that you work ever so hard to be build will not and should not look like any other you have ever seen.  

The decisions you make impact your life uniquely. To enjoy the experience of your decision, develop the skill to tailor the advice that you sought out.  Advice, coaching, education, knowledge, we all need it, we can't do without it but how you turn it into something that works for you, is a craft; an art that is directed only by you. Perhaps none of this is revolutionary, but just as I experience as of late, it is easy to forget.

Your evening coach,

Sam