The cost to undervaluing yourself

Put an end to undervaluing yourself.

The cost of placing yourself at the feet of others is very high. Serving others at the cost of your happiness is so natural to so many of us. So natural that it doesn't feel like it costs us anything at all.

In fact it may feel like you’re gaining from serving this way...gaining approval, perhaps respect, maybe opportunities. But this is not the case.

It is absolutely not true...as contrary as it may feel, that those you are serving at the cost of yourself will respect you or turn around and offer a service to you. 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where hierarchical constructs assign our fate based on a terrible formula of preconceived stereotypes tangled with our actions and behaviour. It's pretty simple - most people want to be at the top. Crummy people  at the top treat others in a way that allows them to remain at the top and those who aren't at the top think they will get their life promotion by serving at a high personal cost.  I'm not talking dictators, CEOs of big companies, or major political figures...I'm talking within social circles, family structures, small offices, big offices...most places have one person who puts themselves in a position to be feared and they believe that this will keep their social environment functioning efficiently.

Serving others is and should be a privilege. If we can all serve each other equally in the frame of our responsibilities, healthy and safe environments will thrive. But if you're serving at the expense of yourself and seeing nothing in return, you are damaging your health and damaging the environment that is meant to protect us.  

Don't get me wrong, there are people out there who convince others to serve without anything in return, but we need to take responsibility for our actions. We need to be incredibly conscious that we're respecting ourselves in the line of duty to others. The purpose of our governments, businesses, educators and healthcare workers are to serve the greater public. The point of our entire social structure is to serve each other but this gets so messy when the goal is suddenly twisted for personal gain.

So what's the message? You don't have to jump when someone calls your name. You don't have to say yes  when your body says no. Reevaluating your purpose is something you are allowed to do any day and every day. By taking care of yourself, having solace and confidence in the decisions you make will have an incredible ripple effect in society. People around you will learn to take care of themselves and learn the meaning of serving and contributing to a healthier society.  

(I will caveat this by saying...there is a difference between inexcusable versus lazy and not wanting to do your job. It’s important that people don’t read this and suddenly want to quit their job or be treated like kings and queens...remember it’s still our duty to serve. It is everyone’s duty to serve.)

If something deep down in your conscious doesn't feel right, it likely isn't.  If it doesn't feel right and you do it anyway, don't beat yourself up.  But don't repress the opportunity to learn from those actions.  Don't put the initial unease out of your mind.  Hang out with it, talk to someone about it (preferably a professional) and give yourself permission to act differently next time. 

Have a super valued day!